1. A member of your team shares with you that they are juggling multiple responsibilities and roles and asks for flexible work options to better manage their life-work obligations/caregiving/etc. You:
2. Nina, a Black team member, shares that she’s had trouble concentrating and sleeping due to the increased media coverage of anti-Black violence in her country. You:
3. A member of your team recently took time off to deal with a family emergency. During the next one-on-one meeting with them, you:
4. During a team video meeting, you notice that Paola, who is normally engaged and enthusiastic, has her camera off, says very little, and seems dejected in the chat. You:
5. Evelyn recently transitioned and is now using she/her pronouns. During a meeting, you accidentally call her by the wrong pronoun. Evelyn looks bothered and corrects you. You:
6. While you are writing an important email, Kiara sends a chat message asking if you have a minute to talk about how you determine who gets access to an AI training. You hop on a quick video call with her and respond by:
7. After a meeting you didn’t attend, Antonio shares with you that a senior leader made a homophobic joke and then looked at him and said, “No offense, Antonio.” You:
8. During your weekly check-in, a team member shares some challenges they’ve encountered managing a client relationship and asks for your advice. You tell them:
9. A fellow coworker, Derek, shares with you that he is feeling disappointed because he lost a client that he had been working hard to retain. You tell him:
10. You notice one of your team member’s work quality has diminished and schedule a check-in to discuss the issue with them. During the meeting, they reveal they have been struggling with mental health issues. You:
Are You an Empathic Leader?
Room to Improve
Your score suggests your empathy skills may be a little rusty, and that you struggle to display empathy towards others at work. You may have been taught that empathy is inappropriate in the workplace or not a valuable skill. However, employees are whole human beings who are more motivated and engaged when they feel seen and understood, so empathy is an important skill for a leader to develop.
Just like any other skill, you can improve by pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and seeking training or actively practicing. For example, practice cognitive empathy by opening your mind to other people’s viewpoints and experiences.
There are three facets of empathy that you can practice to reap the benefits of empathic leadership: emotional/affective empathy, cognitive empathy, and behavioral empathy. Importantly, you don’t need to demonstrate each facet in every interaction. You can apply them individually or in combination, depending on the situation.
Start by engaging in emotional empathy, or trying to understand others’ emotions rather than finding the “right” answer or a solution.
- Emotional/affective empathy: Sharing or showing similarity to another person’s emotional state. For example, you feel concern and/or have similar emotions as your colleague.
- Cognitive empathy: Being able to see and understand another person’s thoughts, emotions, and perspectives. For example, you imagine what your colleague is experiencing from their unique perspective and reflect what you heard to confirm accuracy in your understanding.
- Behavioral empathy: Actions that demonstrate a sense of empathy for others. For example, you engage in active listening and show curiosity about your colleague’s feelings, experiences, or reactions.
Challenge Yourself More
Your empathy skills are growing, yet there may be certain aspects of empathy you are less practiced in, or misguided notions that are blocking your progress. Make sure you understand what empathy is and what it is not. For example, empathy is not trying to fix someone’s problems, or feeling sympathy or pity.
Examine the three facets of empathy and ask yourself if one feels more comfortable to you than another; each facet is a tool within your empathy toolbelt that can be applied in different situations. Importantly, you do not need to demonstrate each facet in every interaction. You can apply them individually or in combination.
- Cognitive empathy: Being able to see and understand another person’s thoughts, emotions, and perspectives. For example, you imagine what your colleague is experiencing from their unique perspective and reflect what you heard to confirm accuracy in your understanding.
- Emotional/affective empathy: Sharing or showing similarity to another person’s emotional state. For example, you feel concern and/or have similar emotions as your colleague.
- Behavioral empathy: Actions that demonstrate a sense of empathy for others. For example, you engage in active listening and show curiosity about your colleague’s feelings, experiences, or reactions.
Great Job! Keep going!
Congratulations! You are working hard at being an empathic leader who creates an environment where employees feel heard, validated, and seen.
Keep flexing your empathy muscles by practicing cognitive, emotional, and behavioral empathy every day. For example, practice behavioral empathy by being an ally, even in uncomfortable situations. Demonstrate cognitive empathy by withholding judgment and practicing perspective-giving—allowing people the space to share their experiences without interjecting your experiences or opinions—with a situation you have never experienced before or with someone who is different from you. Challenge your team to engage in emotional empathy by sharing each other’s emotions for one day. Afterward, track and discuss progress and missteps.
For reference, below are descriptions of the three facets of empathy that you can practice to reap the benefits of empathic leadership. Importantly, you do not need to demonstrate each facet in every interaction. You can apply them individually or in combination.
- Cognitive empathy: Being able to see and understand another person’s thoughts, emotions, and perspectives. For example, you imagine what your colleague is experiencing from their unique perspective and reflect what you heard to confirm accuracy in your understanding.
- Emotional/affective empathy: Sharing or showing similarity to another person’s emotional state. For example, you feel concern and/or have similar emotions as your colleague.
- Behavioral empathy: Actions that demonstrate a sense of empathy for others. For example, you engage in active listening and show curiosity about your colleague’s feelings, experiences, or reactions.