Overcome four conversation roadblocks to drive dialogue

While it can be tempting to think that talk and action are distinct, dialogue is a critical tool for understanding one another’s experiences and driving impact. In this way, it is a powerful action everyone can take. Importantly, dialogue is not the same as debate or discussion.

• Dialogue: When people in a conversation seek to understand one another without trying to persuade or win.
• Debate: When each person in a conversation tries to prove their position is superior.
• Discussion: A general exchange of information.

What it can sound like

• “That doesn’t make any sense.”
• “I just don’t see how anyone could think that.”
• “We’re not even talking about the same thing.”

Why you should overcome it

People can view the same situations through very different lenses. Our perspectives are shaped by our experiences, identities, and values. Although these differences can seem like barriers — and there may be some lines that feel impossible to cross — they can also be opportunities for learning.

Action steps

• Keep your mind open. Practice curiosity by asking open-ended questions such as, “Can you tell me more about how you see it?”
• Reflect on how your background shapes your view. Consider how factors such as your gender, race, age, education, culture, faith, and geography influence your beliefs and assumptions. Remember, we are all shaped by these factors and recognizing how can help you build self-awareness and enhance your ability to engage in perspective taking.
• Ground each other in shared goals. Even if there are differences of opinions, find where there are common organizational goals, such as creating a healthier team dynamic, meeting project objectives, or establishing mutual respect.
• Step away if you need to. If you find that there is no common ground to be had and the other person is showing up with negative intent and a desire to cause harm, give yourself permission to step away. It is your responsibility to build bridges through dialogue; it is not your responsibility to validate or tolerate bias or disrespect.

Example

You and a colleague disagree on whether a comment made in a meeting was appropriate. Instead of shutting down, ask, “Can you say more to help me understand what might have been off about that moment?” and listen with the intent to understand.

What it can sound like

• “I don’t know if it’s worth getting into this conversation.”
• “Why bother?”
• “Would this even make a difference?”

Why you should overcome it

As humans, we’re wired to constantly evaluate whether an expenditure of energy is worthwhile.¹ In this case that means predicting if the chances of a beneficial outcome outweigh the effort of engaging in a potentially uncomfortable dialogue. Catalyst research has found that employees may fear repercussions or anticipate no meaningful change.² Especially if this is a new experience for you, it may be hard to effectively make that prediction and an accurate “cost-benefit” analysis.

Action steps

• Visualize negative outcomes. Think through what might happen if you don’t engage in dialogue, such as damage to the team from simmering tensions, withdrawal or “silent resignation,”³ and eroded trust.
• Visualize positive outcomes. Think through what could happen if you do engage in dialogue, such as stronger relationships, improved collaboration, higher trust, less conflict, and higher engagement and morale.
• Take a risk. Acknowledge that there are unknowns, then do your part to “lean toward courage.” Reflect on the importance of change, the actual risks, and then take a chance, of any size.

Example

You are debating whether to give feedback to a peer who tends to dominate weekly meetings by interrupting and not giving space for others. It feels risky and possibly awkward. But after visualizing how much less frustrating and more useful these meetings would be if they had balanced participation, you reach out to your colleague and say, “Would you be open to some feedback about how the meetings are going, and where there may be room for improvement with communication?”

What it can sound like

• “I don’t want to stir things up.”
• “I’d rather keep the peace.”
• “It’s not that big of a deal.”

Why you should overcome it

It’s natural to want to avoid conflict or discomfort. In one study, 53% of employees dealt with “toxic” situations by avoiding them,⁴ which can be exacerbated by organizational dynamics as well.⁵ For some people, conflict avoidance has deep-seated roots in their upbringings, fears of rejection, and self-esteem.⁶ But avoiding conversations can allow misunderstandings and exclusion to persist and compound at a significant cost to teams and the organization.

Action Steps

• Reframe conflict as opportunity. Instead of seeing the dialogue as negative, view it as a chance to clarify and connect.
• Focus on the work. Remind yourself of the work context to help shift the focus from personal discomfort or blaming to problem-solving and group progress.
• Start small. If a full conversation feels overwhelming, begin with a brief check-in, a clarifying question, or a simple expression of curiosity.

Example

You’re unsure whether to follow up after a tense team discussion. Although your first instinct is to put it out of your head and move on to something else, instead you take a deep breath and message your colleague, “I’ve been thinking about the meeting and would like to talk about it more with you. Do you have a few minutes?”

What it can sound like

• “I’m afraid of saying the wrong thing.”
• “Will I look foolish?”
• “What if I offend someone?”

Why you should overcome it

Fear of making a mistake can keep us silent, especially in conversations that feel sensitive or unfamiliar. This fear might stem from uncertainty about what language to use, concern about being judged, or worry about unintentionally causing harm. The goal is not perfection: while the desire to “get it right” is understandable, staying silent can mean missing the chance to bridge differences and experience personal growth.

Action steps

• Be honest about your fears. Try saying, “I’m not sure I know the right way to say this, but it’s important to me to try. If I get any of this wrong or say anything that might cause harm, please know that’s not my intent. I welcome your feedback as I learn.”
• Be thoughtful about time, place, and medium. Consider whether a change of environment or timing or communicating in writing first might be more conducive to a successful dialogue.
• Seek out a trusted colleague you can practice with. Find someone to help you both work through your approach and hold yourself accountable for taking action.

Example

You want to acknowledge the experience a colleague shared of being excluded, but you are worried you will say the wrong thing. After taking some time to reflect, you reach out to the colleague and say, “I’ve been thinking about what you shared earlier, and I want to acknowledge it — even if I don’t have the perfect words. I’m still learning, but I’m listening and I really appreciate you sharing that.”

1. Zehr, E. P. (2024, January 1). Your brain uses experience to determine if it's worth it. Psychology Today.
2. Shaffer, E., Sattari, N., & Pollack, A. (2020). Interrupting sexism at work: How men respond in a climate of silence. Catalyst.
3. Vilakazi, L. (2025, June 25). The silent resignation: Why more employees are quietly disengaging. Minority Business Review.
4. Cote, C. (2023, September 7). 5 strategies for conflict resolution in the workplace. Harvard Business School. 
5. Shaffer, E., Sattari, N., & Pollack, A. (2020). Interrupting sexism at work: How men respond in a climate of silence. Catalyst.
6. Conflict avoidance psychology: Causes, effects, and strategies for overcoming. (2024, September 15). NeuroLaunch.